Dr John Gottman’s research spanning over 40 years and interviewing over 3000 couples found the strongest indicators of relationship breakdown are the use of what he called the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse. These are Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling. Dr John Gottman found through his research that there were two types of couples: The Disasters and The Masters of Relationship. The Masters rarely used the 4 horsemen in their communication. Instead, they were able to speak more gently to their partners, take responsibility for their part in the conflict, talk about how they felt and self soothe if they became overwhelmed. Gottman Identified these as the Antidotes to the Four Horsemen. He called the Antidotes: Using a Gentle Start Up Taking Responsibility Describing Your Own Feelings and Needs Doing Physiological Self Soothing. Gottman observed that when couples used the 4 horsemen during a conflict conversation the conflict became more escalated and hurtful.  When couples used the Antidotes instead, their conflict discussion stayed calmer and the couple reported feeling more connected at the end of the discussion. So how do you change your communication pattern from using the 4 horsemen to using the antidotes?  First you have to understand what each of the horsemen sound like: Criticism Criticism is typified by the use of ‘You’ statements.  'You' statements frequently sound harsh. The often sound like "You always .... " or "You never ...." or "You are ...."  or "You aren't ..." When  ‘You’ statements are used the often feel like an attack on your personality, e.g. "You are so lazy!"  "You aren't a nice person!"  "You never think about anyone but yourself, you are selfish."  "You always run late, you are so inconsiderate." The Antidote for Criticism is to “Use a gentle start up.’  The easiest way to do this is to use an 'I' statement.  Gottman suggests the format of  "I Feel (insert an emotion word) about (insert a description of the situation - not a description of your partner), and what I need is (insert a request for action)."  Some examples are: "I feel unsupported with keeping the house clean and tidy, what I need is for us to talk about how this can be done more reliably." "I feel hurt when I am spoken to like that, what I need is to be treated more respectfully." "I feel uncared for when my needs aren't considered, what I need is more communication about what both of us need." "I feel disrespected when I am left waiting, what I need is more attention and consideration for the agreements we make." Defensiveness Defensiveness generally occurs when we feel attacked. Defensiveness is mostly projected in two ways. Counterattack -  meet a perceived criticism with a counter criticism, e.g. my partner says, "You didn't bring the washing it before it rained!" I counterattack with "Well you should have done the washing yesterday!" Taking a victim stance in a whingy or whiny tone, e.g. My partner says "The rubbish bin hasn't been taken out again!"  I say in a whiny tone, "That's not fair I only got home 20 minutes ago." The Antidote to Defense is to take some responsibility for you part within the conflict, even if you think you play onlyba minor role, e.g.  My partner says, "You didn't bring the washing it before it rained!" I respond with "Oh you are right, I let the side down this time, I'm sorry."  Or my partner says "The rubbish bin hasn't been taken out again!"  I respond with "You are right, I haven't quite gotten to it yet, but I will," said with a cheeky smile. Contempt Contempt is the strongest indicator of relationship breakdown, in fact, Gottman was able to predict with 92% accuracy which couples would break up and which would stay together just by measuring how much contempt was used in a 10 minute conflict conversation.  He repeated that study 7 times! Contempt is like criticism on steriods. Contempt is generally characterised by actions like eye-rolling, acting  superior to your partner, using mean, nasty or sarcastic comments, acts of belligerence such as slamming doors, yelling, swearing, etc, e.g. "Oh that's right, you know everything of course" accompanied with an eye-roll. The antidote to Contempt is to describe your feelings and needs, very much like a gentle start up but with moe detail.  It might sound something like "What's happening to me right now as I listen to you I am feeling frustrated and a bit hopeless.  It sounds like you are making a very firm statement there and I am not convinced that is the only way to go about this.  I would really like us to keep an open mind and talk through a range of possibilities with you.  Can we please try that?" Stonewalling Stonewalling generally occurs when you become physiologically aroused and shut down. Gottman discovered that once your heart rate reaches 100 beats per minute your cortisol levels and your stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline, flood the nervous system and compromise the prefrontal cortex of your brain. At this point you are not able to rationally or logically think straight. Your ability to problem solve, think flexibly, process your emotions or empathise with another are completely compromised.  Anything that is said at this point will only be more detrimental to the conversation and relationship. The antidote to Stonewalling is Physiological Self soothing. This is any attempt to calm yourself and may include slowing the conversation down while you both do some deep breathing, agreeing to take a break for 20 to 40 minutes during which you might go for a walk, meditate, just take some time out to think about what you are really trying to express. Once you have calmed down it is important to reconnect with your partner, you do not have to continue the conversation, you just have to reconnect.  You might say something like, "Sorry i got a bit hot under the collar then, can we try having that conversation again after dinner?"  The key is to reconnect and not to avoid the conversation but indicate your willingness to keep working on it. Learning to avoid the 4 horsemen is a key skill for you both to learn in the functional management of conflict.  If you would like to learn this and other great skills for better managing conflict join us at one of our workshops: Workshops for Couples Workshops for Therapists

by contributing author Kylie-Jo Elliott The ‘Baby Blues’ is the common term used to describe a new parent’s feeling of depression that can usually develop between the birth of a baby and 3 months of age. It can affect 8 in every 10 new mums and studies have shown that 1 dad in 10 can also suffer from postnatal depression. Whilst it is generally a temporary condition, the good news is that the Baby Blues is nothing to be afraid of and is completely treatable with awareness and focus. Being prepared for what to expect will make all the difference in getting through this time and supporting your partner to get back to normal as quickly as possible. Here is your simple list to follow with some tried and true advice for any new parent. Know what the baby blues are and what to expect - so there are no surprises. The baby blues is a period of unwarranted sadness and irritability, bouts of crying, restlessness and anxiety. It usually arrives 3 days after giving birth, and can persist for up to 3 weeks. Its causes are many, but the main culprits are: An extreme wave of hormones trying to adjust back to pre-baby levels (estrogen & progesterone drop dramatically after childbirth as they were produced by the placenta which is no longer there, and prolactin and oxytocin levels go up as your partner begins breastfeeding) This cocktail creates emotional HAVOC! The physical effects of going through a natural birth or a caesarean can produce the same effect as going into shock. Exhaustion and sleep deprivation can change the chemical balance of the brain, creating depressive like symptoms. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? So, the important thing to note here is that a new parent’s feelings during this time are not ‘all in their head’. Validate their emotions as real - and this will help them get through. Understand that you cannot ‘stop’ this from happening, but you can support them through it. Just like an injury takes time to heal, this too shall pass. It is a normal process that needs to run its course. Remember – you can’t just ‘fix’ this. Assume the role of the ‘Gatekeeper’. Give your partner the time and space they need to settle in to their new role. Don’t accept visitors out of obligation. You set the rules that suit your new family and that also gives your partner the space they need to adjust. Ask your partner about the way they are feeling and let them talk. Don’t try to solve their problems. Your role is to be the listener. Let them know you understand, and are there for them. Help them get as much rest as possible. Take the baby into another room or go for a walk with the baby and let them sleep. Even for just half an hour. Resting for a new mum or dad is NOT indulgent – it is ESSENTIAL to get these hormones back into alignment! Remember, rest regulates hormones. “Nothing is as healing as the human touch”. A 15-minute massage will do more than you could ever imagine to support your partner through this time. We need to have physical contact to survive, but it also has therapeutic qualities in that cortisol is the body's response to stress, and massage therapy lowers it by as much as 50%. At the same time, massage provides many benefits and can also increase the levels of serotonin and dopamine, which are both neurotransmitters that help stabilize your partner’s mood. You both need to eat well! Food is not only fuel – food is medicine. When your partner’s hormones have gone haywire, great nutrition is key. Limiting highly processed foods, caffeine and alcohol combined with increasing nutrient dense foods, will give their body the best platform to survive and thrive this challenging yet TEMPORARY time of tribulation! If you are not in a position to cook for a couple of weeks, then get the army of well-wishers from the extended family and friends on to the task of making the obligatory ‘casseroles’ and healthy meals that you can just reheat and serve. Bellisimo! These pointers may take effort to execute, but you can do it. This will not last forever and your support will be instrumental to making that time easier to cope with – for the 3 of you! And always remember, if you feel it hasn’t passed by 4 weeks – wait no longer. If things get worse – reach out for help. Be proactive and book an appointment with a trusted GP and talk them through what you are experiencing. Never be under the assumption that you will appear ‘weak’ if you ‘speak’. While the baby blues is perfectly normal, there are a small number of new parents who can see this time of imbalance escalate to post-partum depression. This is treatable, as long as it is diagnosed. You are about to enter the most exciting and challenging time of life as you know it – but you are not alone. Many have walked this path before … and survived … so will you!

The winter blues are very common, with many of us experiencing a mood shift during the colder, darker days of winter. You may find yourself feeling more lethargic and down overall. Although you may feel more gloomy than usual, the winter blues typically don't hinder your ability to enjoy life. But if your winter blues start permeating all aspects of your life — from work to relationships — you may be facing depression, sometimes this might be referred to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a recurrent type of depression associated with the change in seasons. It typically starts in the autumn and persists through the winter months. While SAD is rare in Australia, many Australians report that they feel flat and lethargic in winter. If this condition persists over as little as a couple of weeks, the winter blues can develop into a full blown depression. Depression is more complicated than wanting to hunker down and stay in for the night. It's more than simply cursing the cold breeze. And it's more than longing for those first days of spring. Sun power The primary culprit of both the winter blues is the lower level of natural sunlight. In Australia this is primarily caused by starting your work day in the early hours when it is still dark and working through until it is dark again. Some of us will choose to stay indoors all day simply to stay out of the cold, however, less natural light can cause the following problems: Dips in serotonin, a neurotransmitter that regulates mood; Disruptions in circadian rhythms (your body’s internal clock), which help control sleep-wake cycles; Alterations in melatonin, a hormone associated with both mood and sleep. All of these factors can have a direct impact on your mood and if you're having mood difficulties, other things can start to fall apart too. You may find less enjoyment in your life, your work performance may suffer and you may start struggling with your relationships. Here are four ways to get a leg up on the winter blues: 1. Recognize the signs The most common symptoms of the winter blues are general sadness and a lack of energy. Other symptoms of the winter blues include the following: Difficulty sleeping; Feeling less social than usual; Difficulty taking initiative. The hallmarks of depression are sleep too much and overeating. Other common symptoms include: Mood that is down or depressed most of the day, nearly every day; Loss of interest in activities you typically enjoy; Withdrawing and isolating yourself from friends and family; Struggling to focus and perform at work or home; Feeling constantly fatigued and lethargic; Feeling hopeless about the future. 2. Don't ignore your symptoms If you're experiencing depressive symptoms — even mild ones associated with the winter blues — it is important to talk to your GP or a psychologist to discuss your options. Your GP can provide you with a Mental Health Care Plan which enables you to obtain significant rebates through Medicare for up to 10 visits with a psychologist. We have both male and female psychologists who are all highly skilled to treat depression in an effective and personalised way. Take a look at our About Us page or call/email Kylie-Jo (07 5576 2633; kj@burleighheadspsychology.com.au to identify the perfect therapist for you. 3. Find a treatment that works for you The good news about both the winter blues and depression is there are a number of evidence-based treatments that can be quite effective in alleviating your symptoms. Sunlight: It's important to get outside whenever the sun is out during these darker days. Take a walk during your lunch break, play with your kids at the park, or simply find a sunny sheltered spot and enjoy the view. Exposing yourself to natural light will help boost serotonin production and your overall mood. Exercise: Research consistently shows a strong exercise-mental health connection, particularly for those with depression and anxiety. That's why experts often refer to exercise as nature's antidepressant. Exercise can increase serotonin and endorphins, which both affect mood. Moderate exercise of at least 30 minutes most days of the week may provide the biggest mood boost. Cognitive-behavioural therapy: has been shown to be clinically effective and extremely beneficial for all types of depression and anxiety. Medication: If more conservative treatments are not providing adequate relief, you may need antidepressants to regulate the chemical imbalances associated with the winter blues. While you may be able to taper off the medication as you head into spring, it is important to talk to your doctor before making any changes to your medication or dosage. 4. Embrace a healthy lifestyle Maintaining a regular schedule during the winter months can help keep your hormones in balance and regulate your mood. Follow these tips to help manage your winter mood: Go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day to help normalize your circadian rhythms; Structure your eating patterns by eating three meals a day, around the same time every day; Avoid the common urge in the winter to overindulge in simple carbohydrates, such as starchy or sweet foods; Eat a balanced diet of proteins, fruits and vegetables, and whole grains; Make (and keep) plans with friends and families to help you stay connected to your loved ones; Take time for yourself and engage in activities you enjoy.

Turns out the answer is a resounding YES! In the last 40 years or so world class researcher John Gottman has been looking closely at what makes relationships work and what makes them fail. His findings have been astonishing in their accuracy. Seems that successful couples understand a range of concepts, skills and strategies that improve their ability to manage conflict, continuously deepen their friendship and intimacy, create a deep sense of shared meaning, and develop high levels of trust and loyalty. John Gottman and his wife Julie Schwarz-Gottman, a clinical psychologist, then took all his research findings and developed an evidenced based approach to couples therapy that assists couples who are struggling to develop all of the skills, understanding and strategies required to become 'Masters of Relationship'. A trained  Gottman therapist will be able to skilfully guide you and your partner through a therapeutic process that will help you both to gain deeper understanding of both your own emotional needs as well as your partner's and how to use a range of conversation skills, simple strategies and tools to help you create a strong, satisfying, close and intimate relationship. One of the big differences between Gottman Method Couples therapy and most other approaches is that your therapist will engage in a thorough assessment process to ensure that they fully understand YOUR relationship dynamics and issues.  They will then share with you their understanding of the issues and how these might be addressed through therapy.  Together you, the therapist and your partner will establish the goals of your therapy and will be able to review your progress regularly. To ensure couples therapy is successful for you there are a few things that help: Intensity - when couples attending therapy in an intensive mode they are able to quickly resolve and repair old hurts and move to rebuilding and rejuvenating their relationships within just a few weeks.  Intensive modes of therapy might include attending marathon therapy (2 solid days focused on your relationship with a highly skilled and experienced therapist); therapy that is 'massed and faded out', in other words scheduling 2-4 hours of couples therapy a week in order to fast track your relationship recovery; Expertise of the therapist - many therapists will say they do couples therapy but in reality few have completed specific in depth training in evidenced based approaches to couples therapy.  Asking question such as "what specific training have you had in couples therapy?", "what approach to couples therapy do you take? And where did you learn that?", "Are you certified in any couples therapy approaches?".  Beware couples therapists who say they use a particular approach who's only training has been reading the book, while this may help with a theoretic understanding it does very little in skilling the therapist in managing the sometimes challenging moments that can arise in your relationship; Willingness and motivation - without doubt the success of any therapeutic process is predicted by the willingness and motivation of the client/s.  If you and your partner both want to repair, rebuild and rejuvenate your relationship then with the help of an intense approach and a skilled therapist you really can't fail. Written by Trish Purnell-Webb, Clinical Psychologist, Certified Gottman Therapist, Master Trainer and Consultant. #Gottmantherapy #Couplestherapy #relationships #marriage

Thoughts = Feelings. I love the simplicity in this equation. I am no mathematician so the simpler the better! What we think about WILL equal how we feel. Not just POSSIBLY, but DEFINITELY. If we have unhelpful thoughts than we have uncomfortable feelings (sad, angry, anxious etc). If we have helpful thoughts than we have comfortable feelings (joy, satisfaction, pleasure etc). The more we think the more intense we feel too. Also very simple! The longer we dwell on unhelpful thoughts the more intense our uncomfortable emotions will become. Thoughts are the fuel and emotions are the fire. The more fuel we add to a fire the more intense it becomes. So with all this simplicity it must be simple right? Well in a way yes, and in a way no! We cannot control what thoughts POP into our head but we can learn what to do with them when they do show up. Instead of entertaining the thoughts, trying to change or get rid of them we can learn to accept their presence and just watch them come and go without grabbing hold of them or trying to change them in anyway. We can also encourage ourselves to become more grateful on a day to day basis. An attitude of gratitude will go a long way in boosting those helpful emotions and creating a mindset that handles the inevitable challenges we all face in life. Email Imogen at imogen.furner@gmail.com #cbt #act #psychotherapy

Your workshop actually begins a week or two before the weekend when we call you both to get to know you and your goals a bit better. This helps us to ensure that your weekend is as successful and personalised as possible. During the weekend you will be introduced to the 40+ years of incredible research conducted by Dr John Gottman on what makes relationships last and what makes them fail. From these research findings you will be introduced to a range of activities and exercises for you and your partner to try out in relative privacy while our Certified Gottman Therapists make themselves available to give you a hand to ensure you and your partner can successfully complete the exercises. Couples’ privacy is always respected and no personal information is discussed in front of the group.

 
 
Over the two days we will specifically assist you to work on improving your friendship, intimacy and connection; your ability to effectively manage conflict; and your sense of togetherness in a shared meaning system. All of these things are based on scientific evidence that demonstrates how these things lead to very happy, satisfying and fulfilling long term relationships What you will learn This two-day workshop will give you new insights and research-based relationship skills that can dramatically improve the intimacy and friendship in your relationship and help you resolve conflict in a healthy, productive way. At the workshop, couples will learn how to: Foster respect, affection, and closenessBuild and share a deeper connection with each other’s inner worldKeep conflict discussions calmBreak through and resolve conflict gridlockStrengthen and maintain the gains in your relationship What previous couples have said We are much closer than we were 2 days agoIt feels so good to finally have a road map to work out conflictWe are leaving feeling much more connected and engagedGave us some great skills we know we can put into practiceWe successfully communicated some difficult things to each other and amazingly felt closer and happier as a result Who Should Attend All couples in a committed relationship. All couples with a desire to strengthen their relationship and make it great. All couples with distressed relationships who are looking for a road map for repair. For more information - Click here #intimaterelationships #artandscienceoflove #couplesworkshops

Most people report feeling a little anxious and not feeling sure of what to expect the first time they visit a psychologist.  This is normal for most people.  So what can you expect on your first visit? 1.  Most therapists work in an office with some kind of reception area.  Sometimes the reception will be manned and other times it won't be.  Some psychologists work from home offices.  Whichever you visit, most psychologists will ask you to fill in a form on your first visit.  This form will ask for your personal details like name, address, phone number etc.  It may ask for details of your Medicare number and/or Private Health Insurance details.  Some will ask questions about why you are attending your appointment, others might ask you to fill in some questionnaires to identify any symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress or other things.  Most will generally include an explanation of Confidentiality, fees and cancellation policies.  It's important to read these carefully so that you don't incur unnecessary cancellation fees. 2.  Once you have filled in your forms, the psychologist is likely to come out to greet you personally.  Most will greet you warmly and engage in a little chit chat to help you feel at ease and perhaps shake your hand.  They will then invite you into their consulting room. 3.  In the counselling room the psychologist might spend a few minutes introducing themselves and making sure you understand confidentiality and they might give you a brief summary of how they like to work. 4.  Once they feel sure that you are comfortable and understand the process they might begin by asking you to describe the problem that has brought you in to see them today.  The more information you can give them the better they will be able to begin to "formulate" your issues.  This means they will be thinking about what has happened recently as well as in the past to bring you to this present moment in time. 5.  Many psychologists like to take a personal history on your first visit.  This helps them to understand you and the influences you have experienced on you through your life.  This helps them see the world through your eyes and will provide valuable information to help them begin to create a plan for helping you. 6.  Towards the end of the first consulation the Psychologist will likely summarise what you have told them and then they may spend a few minutes explaining to you what they are initially thinking might be a helpful way to assist you with your problem.  They may also provide you with some reading or simple exercises or techniques to practise that they think will help, like journalling or breathing techniques. 7. Most psycologists will then suggest a follow-up appointment so they can begin the therapeutic process with you.  This is likely to be an evidenced based approach that is appropriate for your particular issue.  For example, Cognitive Behavioural therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Gottman Method Couples Therapy or one of the many others that are available. At the end of this consultation your should feel comfortable with your therapist, understood and hopeful that they can help you.  If not, then maybe give them a couple more opportunities to connect with you and establish good rapport.  If you still don't feel comfortable after 3 or 4 consultations then feel free to discuss this with them, or go back to your GP and ask for a referral to someone else. The success of therapy relies heavily on how well you and your therapist connect or establish rapport so don't struggle on if you don't feel they 'get' you. #mentalhealth #Help #choosingatherapist #psychology #counselling

At some time in our lives, each of us may feel overwhelmed and may need help dealing with our problems. According to the Mental Health Council of Australia, almost half the population experience a mental health disorder at some point in their lifetime. They may need help dealing with feelings and problems that seem beyond their control — problems with a marriage or relationship, a family situation or dealing with losing a job, the death of a loved one, depression, stress, burnout or trauma. Those losses and stresses of daily living can at times be significantly debilitating. Sometimes we need outside help from a trained, licensed professional in order to work through these problems. Through therapy, psychologists and mental health accredited social workers help millions of Australians of all ages live healthier, more productive lives. Consider therapy if... You feel an overwhelming and prolonged sense of helplessness and sadness, and your problems do not seem to get better despite your efforts and help from family and friends. You are finding it difficult to carry out everyday activities: for example, you are unable to concentrate on assignments at work, and your job performance is suffering as a result. You worry excessively, expect the worst or are constantly on edge. Your actions are harmful to yourself or to others: for instance, you are drinking too much alcohol, abusing drugs or becoming overly argumentative and aggressive. What is a Mental Health Therapist? Mental Health Therapists fall into a few different categories: 1. Clinical Psychologists Clinical psychologists have skills in the following areas: Psychological assessment and diagnosis Clinical psychologists have training in the assessment and diagnosis of major mental illnesses and psychological problems.Through their training, clinical therapists are qualified to provide expert opinion in clinical and compensation areas. Treatment Clinical psychologists are trained in the delivery of a range of techniques and therapies with demonstrated effectiveness in treating mental health disorders. They hold particular skills for applying psychological theory and scientific research to solve complex clinical psychology problems requiring individually tailored interventions. Research, teaching and evaluation Research, teaching and evaluation are all integral to the role of clinical psychologists. Research is often conducted on prevention, diagnosis, assessment and treatment. Clinical psychologists are involved in the design and implementation of treatment strategies in various settings (such as primary care, psychiatric and rehabilitation) and in the subsequent evaluation of treatment outcomes. Clinical Psychologists are endorsed by the Australian Health Regulation Authority and can provide rebate-able services for Medicare, DVA,Workcover organisations, private health funds and insurance companies. 2. Psychologists Psychologists who specialize in psychotherapy and other forms of psychological treatment are highly trained professionals with expertise in the areas of human behaviour, mental health assessment, diagnosis and treatment, and behaviour change. Psychologists work with individuals, couples and families to change their feelings and attitudes and help them develop healthier, more effective patterns of behaviour. Psychologists apply scientifically validated procedures to help people change their thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Psychologists can be registered providers with Medicare Australia, DVA, private health funds and insurance companies. 3. Accredited Mental Health Social Workers Accredited Mental Health Social Workers are registered providers with Medicare Australia. They have been assessed on behalf of the Commonwealth Government by the Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW) as having specialist mental health expertise. Accredited Mental Health Social Workers help individuals to resolve their presenting psychological problems, the associated social and other environmental problems, and improve their quality of life. This may involve family as well as individual counselling, and group therapy. Social workers recognise the broader implications of an individual having a mental illness and the impact on friends, family, work and education. 4. Counsellors and Hypnotherapists Counsellors and Hypnotherapists can be trained in many different ways.  These professions are not regulated which means there can be great variability in the type and amount of training that these professionals receive. There are a number of professional organisations they can be members of that will guarantee to the consumer a minimum level of training and competency.  It is a good idea to ask what professional affilitations the professional has and then check with that organisation to make an informed decision about whether you think these will meet your needs. Counsellors and hypnotherapists are not eligible for rebates from services such as Medicare, private health funds, insurance companies, etc. What is psychotherapy? Psychologists and Accredited Mental Health Social Workers use psychotherapy to treat people presenting with life challenges. Psychologists and Accredited Mental Health Social Workers can also be called psychotherapists. Psychotherapy is a collaborative effort between an individual or couple and a psychotherapist. It provides a supportive environment to talk openly and confidentially about concerns and feelings. Therapists consider maintaining your confidentiality extremely important and will answer your questions regarding those rare circumstances when confidential information must be shared. How do I find the right therapist for me? To find a therapist, ask your GP or another health professional. Ask family and friends for recommendations. Use Australian Psychology Society's Find a Therapist service or the Australian Association of Social Workers Find a Social Worker service. What to consider when making the choice. Mental Health Therapists and clients work together. The right match is important. Once the therapist’s credentials and competence are established, the most important factor is your level of personal comfort with that therapist. A good rapport with your therapist is critical. Choose one with whom you feel comfortable and at ease. Questions to ask Are you a registered psychologist / accredited mental health social worker? How many years have you been practicing? I have been feeling (anxious, tense, depressed, etc.) and I'm having problems (with my job, my marriage, eating, sleeping, etc.). What experience do you have helping people with these types of problems? What are your areas of expertise — for example, working with children and families? What kinds of treatments do you use, and have they been proven effective for dealing with my kind of problem or issue? What are your fees? Are you a registered provider for Medicare Australia? Can I use private health funding? Do I need a referral? Will seeing a mental health therapist help me? According to a research summary from the Stanford University School of Medicine, some forms of psychotherapy can effectively decrease patients' depression, anxiety and related symptoms such as pain, fatigue and nausea. Research increasingly supports the idea that emotional and physical health are closely linked and that seeing a mental health therapist can improve a person's overall health. There is convincing evidence that most people who have at least several sessions with a mental health therapist are far better off than individuals with emotional difficulties who are untreated. One major study demonstrated that 50 percent of patients noticeably improved after eight sessions, while 75 percent of individuals in therapy improved by the end of six months. How will I know if therapy is working? As you begin therapy, you should establish clear goals with your therapist. You might be trying to overcome feelings of hopelessness associated with depression or control a fear that is disrupting your daily life. Remember, certain goals require more time to reach than others. You and your therapist should decide at what point you may expect to begin to see progress. It is a good sign if you begin to feel a sense of relief, and a sense of hope. People often feel a wide variety of emotions during therapy. Some qualms about therapy that people may have result from their having difficulty discussing painful and troubling experiences. When you begin to feel relief or hope, it can be a positive sign indicating that you are starting to explore your thoughts and behaviour. Examples of the types of problems that bring people to seek help from mental health therapists are provided below: A man in his late 20s has just been put on probation at work because of inappropriate behaviour towards his staff and other employees. He has been drinking heavily and is getting into more arguments with his wife. Once the contributing factors that may have led to the man's increase in stress have been examined, the therapist and the man will design a treatment that addresses the identified problems and issues. The therapist will help the client evaluate how he coped with, and what he learned from, any earlier experiences he had with a similar problem that might be useful for dealing with the current situation. Functioning as a trained, experienced and impartial third party, the therapist will help this client take advantage of available resources (his own as well as other resources) to deal with the problem. The therapist also will assist this client with developing new skills and problem-solving strategies for confronting the problem he faces. Crying spells, insomnia, lack of appetite and feelings of hopelessness are some of the symptoms a woman in her early 40s is experiencing. She has stopped going to her weekly social activities and has a hard time getting up to go to work. She feels like she lives in a black cloud and can't see an end to the way she feels. The symptoms of depression are extremely difficult to deal with, and the causes may not be immediately apparent. Significant life changes — such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or a child's leaving home for college — may contribute to depression. Therapists have a proven track record in helping people deal with and overcome depressive disorders. A therapist will approach the problems this woman presents by addressing why she is reacting the way she is reacting now. Does she have a history or pattern of such feelings, and, if so, under what circumstances? What was helpful to her before when she dealt with similar feelings, and what is she doing now to cope with her feelings? The therapist will work to help the client see a more positive future and reduce the negative thinking that tends to accompany depression. The therapist also will assist the client in problem-solving around any major life changes that have occurred. And the therapist may help facilitate the process of grieving if her depression resulted from a loss. Medical problems may contribute to the symptoms the woman is experiencing. In such cases, medical and psychological interventions are called for to help individuals overcome their depression. William and Jeanette have been married for 17 years, they have 3 children and have been under a lot of financial stress recently. They are both working long hours trying to get ahead. They have begun arguing frequently and have begun to talk about separating. The stressors in daily lives frequently lead to problems in relationships when we don’t know how to constructively manage conflict, maintain intimacy and connection and continue to create a shared narrative together. The therapist first does a thorough assessment on William and Jane’s relationship and on them individually before collaboratively preparing and sharing a treatment plan and treatment goals with William and Jane. Together, the therapist, William and Jane agree on relationship goals and how to achieve them. The therapist acts as a coach/teacher to assist William and Jane to engage in functional conversations around their areas of difference, to develop good relationship habits such as building their friendship through having fun together, increasing their intimacy and developing rituals of connection. All of these things help William and Jane to feel more like a team than opponents and helps them develop a range of skills to continue to improve their relationship. Scott, a teenager, has just moved across town with his family and has been forced to transfer to a new high school. Once an excellent student, he is now skipping classes and getting very poor grades. He has had trouble making friends at this new school. For most teenagers, "fitting in" is a critical part of adolescence. Scott is attempting to make a major life transition under difficult circumstances. He has been separated from the network of friends which made up his social structure and allowed him to feel "part of the group." Young people often respond to troubling circumstances with marked changes in behaviour. Thus, an excellent student's starting to get poor grades, a social youngster's becoming a loner or a leader in school affairs losing interest in those activities would not be unusual. A therapist, knowing that adolescents tend to "test" first and trust second, will likely initially spend time focusing on developing a relationship with Scott. Next, the therapist will work with Scott to find better ways to help him adjust to his new environment. Trained mental health therapists help ordinary people , just like you and me, to get through the challenges in life in a happy, healthy way. #stress #work #psychology #counselling #depression #anxiety #mentalhealthhelp